ISSUE # 35 ... THE "L" WORD

"Local is as local does." - Aspen MayorMick Ireland

WHAT IS A "LOCAL?" Long the source of small town pride, being an Aspen "local" has always had its privileges. Local's Specials, Local's Passes, Local's Discounts, Local's Night. But just how is "local" status attained? By living here? In Aspen? What about down valley? For how long? Full-time or part-time? By working here? By owning property? A combination thereof? Which combination? Having ZG license plates? A 925 prefix phone number? Who decides? And is there a list? THE RED ANT HITS THE LOCAL STREETS Ever in search of the truth, The Red Ant spoke to people on the streets for clarity on the "local" issue. Here's what we learned when we asked, What is a "local?" My aunt and uncle are locals. They have a house here and live here every summer. -- Jennie, Cleveland Locals are people who live here and work here. -- Nigel, Laguna Beach Real Aspen folks (presumably "locals") love to party. -- "Lax," Aspen Times blogger If you're a member of The Elks, you're a local. -- Elks Lodge member A Correction, if you're a member of The Elks who didn't join when membership was down and all the f-heads from Red Mountain with Rolexes joined for steak night in the summer, you're a local. -- Elks Lodge memberB The "local" issue is tied to "haves and have-nots." The "have-nots" will never consider the "haves" to be locals, regardless of how long the "haves" have lived here and despite the "haves" paying for everything for the "have-nots," including their housing, their income and their recreation. -- Long-time local attorney (name withheld) I was born in this valley, but I'm only 23, am I a local or do I have to go through some sort of fraternal hazing to be welcomed? -- "BigChris," Aspen Times blogger I'm a local. I live here, I vote here, I volunteer here, I have a Colorado driver's license, my stuff is here. But since I just recently moved here full-time and own property elsewhere (where I don't live anymore), I'm sure that in some people's eyes, I haven't earned "local" status yet. I should have the same say as the next guy, but since I'm not a "longtime local," some might argue about that. -- Barbara, Aspen Aspen Times columnist Su Lum's weekly byline: Su Lum is a longtime local who ....   * Locals can walk through town and tell you what businesses were in every retail location, in reverse order. Ralph Lauren - Banana Republic - Crossroads Drugs. Prada - Planet Hollywood - Andre's. -- Maureen, Aspen * Locals live here. We should have a gondola line for locals. -- Clueless local who probably deserves to be identified, but we'll give her a pass THIS ONE TIME. I'm a local. I've lived and worked here for 11 years. Besides, I'm married to a life-long local and I've got in-laws here! That definitely has to count for something! -- Jennifer, Aspen Real locals have been here 35 or more years or were born and raised here. The rest are totally missing the point and are newbies or they would not care so much in their valiant attempts to be important here. -- "Animal Safety," Aspen Times blogger I've owned a home here for 25 years and pay increasingly expensive property taxes. Even though I don't live here part of the time, I'm definitely a "local." -- Bill, NYC I've lived here off and on since 1987, and have kept my ZG plates and 925 prefix number all along. I partied at The Tippler, Andre's and The Slope. My favorite dish at LaCo was "half a Number 2." I voted to recall Stirling, Crockett, Gassman and Peters. I'm definitely a local! -- Elizabeth, Aspen ACTUAL LOCALS???    There has always been great debate over what constitutes a "local," and our elected leadership has recently entered the fray. At the recent City Council planning retreat, Councilman Torre made reference to "actual locals," but he did not elaborate on the emphatic distinction between these locals and others.Former Councilman Jack Johnson, a 9-year Aspen resident, also used this "actual locals" distinction in meetings, but once again, the subtle (or not-so-subtle) nuances that would clarify the seemingly more privileged "actual " status were not revealed. IS LANCE A LOCAL? In his recent attempt to celebrate part-time resident Lance Armstrong by proclaiming a "Lance Armstrong Day," Mayor Mick was shot downwhen Councilman Steve Skadronreminded him thatthere are plenty of other "local endeavors" and other "local athletes" deserving of recognition, and besides, "He (Lance) hasn't been here 5 minutes!" So, Skad, how much longer until Lance becomes a "local?" Bowing to public and Council pressure to move beyond "Lance Day," Mayor Mick was perplexed that Armstrong was deemed "not local enough" despite "walking and talking like a local," causing Mick to channel Forrest Gump and shock us with, "Local is as local does." (Click here for entire article) The Red Ant wonders what "talking like a local" sounds like. Is it an accent? And where did Lance learn to talk like a "local?" Isn't he from Texas? How is it that Lance walks? Isn't he usually on a bicycle? How DO "locals" walk? When interviewed by the Aspen Daily News about the "Lance Day" brou-ha-ha, Lance gave some insight into his own "local" status. "I like to be the dude who lives in the West End that nobody knows about," he said. (Notably, this "low-key local," and hero of Mick, lives in the very same affluent neighborhood that the Mayor vilifies - regularly referring to it as "the West End, with all the darkness that implies.") "Local is as local does," the Mayor says. Interesting. Walking, talking and "doing" like a "local" makes a "local"? According to Mick, anyone can be a "local." CAN YOU IMPROVE YOUR LOCALSHIP? CAN YOU BE UNLOCALIZED? Apparently yes, one's "local" status is definitely fluid. There are "part-time locals" and "long-time locals," and now in official City Hall discussions, "actual locals," all of whose "local-ness" seems to be affected by the length of time they spend / have spent in Aspen. But again, those specific thresholds remain a mystery. Surely, tenure is a plus toward "local-dom," but just how will you know when you've arrived? Sadly, one's "local-ness" also appears to be revocable. Some in Aspen are quick to turn on their own, such as when Mick disparaged visitors and residents alike when referring to Aspen's high-end clientele as "Madoff victims" who enjoy "$85 appetizers." (Click here for entire article) Which then begs the question as to whether they were "locals" before or have now become "locals" since sadly being robbed of their assets. There are also "life-long" locals who were born and raised here whose "local" status cannot be challenged. That is, unless they leave. (Obviously, if one moves away, one is no longer a "local," but presumably retains "former local" status.) ARE OUR ELECTED LEADERS LOCALS? ACTUAL LOCALS? WHERE DO YOU STACK UP? Mayor Mick: Grew up in Chicago, and has lived in Aspen since 1979. Mick owns his affordable housing unit, has been a "local politician" for 15 years, does not have ZG plates nor a 925 phone number. Dwayne Romero: With his wife, Dwayne has lived in the Roaring Fork Valley for 10 years. They were residents of Carbondale and Snowmass Village before moving to Aspen, where they own their home and are raising 3 daughters. Originally from Texas, he is a real estate developer whose car does not have ZG plates, nor does he have a 925 phone number. Dwayne does not remember partying at The Tippler (and he's sticking to that story). Steve Skadron: Originally from Minnesota, Skadron has lived in Aspen for 12 years. He owns both his condominium and his own marketing firm. Steve does not have a 925 phone number nor ZG plates on his bicycle. But he is the advocate of mandating the "locally-serving restaurant" with government-controlled pricing in the Cooper Street Pier's future basement location. (Click here to read The Red Ant article on "Chairman Mao's Diner") Torre: He previously served one term on City Council, works as a tennis instructor, parties at Kenichi, and appears as host on Plum TV. Torre has no formal posted biography so we don't know how else he scores on local-ness! Derek Johnson: Also from Minnesota, Derek has lived in Aspen for 18 years. He and his wife are raising their 3 children in the affordable housing unit that they own. He is an executive with the Aspen Skiing Co. (Some would say THAT unlocalizes him!) They do not have a 925 phone number nor ZG plates on their cars. THE RED ANT SAYS..... The "Aspen local" discussion will never abate, but that's okay -- it's part of our lore. As long as the back-and-forth continues at the J-Bar over cold draft beers, it's all good and fun. But for our elected leadership and community thought leaders to perpetuate the issue of class warfare in our community through further divisiveness and delineation of the citizenry, making value judgments, and implying that some citizens are more "local" than others (therefore more important? more valuable? more relevant?), it's gone waaaay too far. While we rarely concur with Mayor Mick, perhaps his statement that "Local is as local does" is spot-on. If we want to be inclusive of all of our residents and guests (just like new-comer Lance) who love Aspen and want to visit or make their home here -- part-time, full-time or in their retirement years -- let's celebrate them and their unique contributions to our community. Heck, if they want to join this mysterious tribe of "locals," the more the merrier! (And by the way, you know you're NOT a local if can you name the north-south streets in the downtown core in east-west order.) Please share YOUR definitions and comments on "Aspen locals" (Click here)and we'll post them on the blog at www.TheRedAnt.com

ISSUE # 34 ... ASPEN COUNCIL PRIORITIES AS SEEN FROM THE ANT HILL

THE POWER DYNAMIC ON THE NEW CITY COUNCIL

With nearly two months since taking office, the outlook on power and direction with the new City Council is varied, but, compared to the track record of the last 2 years, The Red Ant is cautiously optimistic -- the election broke Mick's previous perceived built-in voting block.

Instead, new Councilman Derek Johnson, who won his seat by a long-shot, promises to be an objective and level-headed representative with pro-business and pro-jobs politics, likely more in line with those of Councilman Dwayne Romero. Torre returns after a 4-year hiatus, as a confident and independent thinker -- not one to blindly drink the Kool-Aid. And remember, Torre boldly challenged Mick in the 2007 Mayoral election.

Early analysis reveals no pre-set alliances, which is ideal for good governance. Dwayne, Derek and Torre will surely together ensure a great cultural shift in council chambers --- the three of them will never engage in rudeness and incivility to members of the public! Councilman Steve Skadron will quickly embrace this positive change.

The likelihood of a complete cultural change on Council is probably too much to ask for, but hope springs eternal with The Red Ant. Mick may choose to govern differently given the new make-up of the Council. Then again, he may not, as evidenced by his impatience and rudeness at two recent Council meetings. The Red Ant hopes that this new group of Council members will lead a CHANGE we can ALL believe in!

CITY COUNCIL TO SET PRIORITIES THIS WEEK
 
The new Council will meet on July 31 and August 3 in public session to craft their priorities for the coming year. It is rare that manyAspen citizens engage their Council representativesin suggesting Council priorities, but The Red Ant encourages citizens to do so. (Read on--we've made it easy for you to do so.) As constituents, if we don't communicate where we want Council to focus, we shouldn't criticize what they choose as priorities.

The Red Ant suggests the following 10 priorities for the new City Council. These are all concepts that we brought up during the recent campaign season:

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ISSUE # 33 ... ONE DEAL OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST - ASPEN STYLE

DRIVING AROUND, LOOKING FOR "HISTORY" 

"I must be crazy to be in a loony bin like this."
R.P. McMurphy (Jack Nicholson's Character.) 

In 2000, Amy Guthrie, the City's Historic Preservation czarina, noticed a house at 312 W. Hyman while doing a "windshield survey" of Aspen properties which might have "historic character." She saw the house as potentially historic, as it vaguely resembles several local buildings mimicking the European "chalet-style.   

The Historic Preservation Commission (HPC) took a look. In addition to the original building permit from 1954 that establishes the structure as a pre-fabricated kit house, 312 W. Hyman Ave. is only a dolled-up ranch-style house, with some fancy trim added, and HPC's review -- marked "FINAL" -- determined that 312, much to the relief of the owner, did not have the historic significance to warrant involuntary (forced upon the owner) designation.

Shortly thereafter, owner Jordie Gerberg obtained

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THE RED ANT FOR MAYOR!

Updated on March 25 by Elizabeth

Updated on March 26 by Elizabeth

Updated on March 27 by Elizabeth

Press Release

March 23, 2009 (Aspen, CO) --

At the Zele coffee shop, across the street from City Hall, The Red Ant, a pesky 8-month-old solenopsis invicta, announced her candidacy for Mayor of Aspen, Colorado.

Known for her fiery style and demand for truth, accuracy, transparency and

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ANT BITE -- The BMC HypoAppraisal

The long awaited BMC "appraisal"—sort of---has been released by the City. Initially, upon reading the newspapers last week,Aspenites were comforted by the assurance that the value was only $1.45 million less than the $16.8 million paid in December, 2007. But upon further examination of the appraisal, and discussions with real estate professionals, the City is once again being challenged with the outrageous spin they put on the so called, “appraisal.” (Reminds us of the bogus press releases issued after the Burlingame audits.)

Turns out the “appraisal” was a very nonstandard valuation based on “Extraordinary Assumptions” and “Hypothetical conditions”---not what a reasonable buyer would pay!! And one any bank would laugh you out of the room for presenting.

John McBride, one of the most respected developers and businessmen

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ISSUE # 32 ... EXPOSE: THE BURLINGAME BACK STORY

by Marilyn Marks

"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed." - Mark Twain

The shameful Burlingame "back story" is one that the local papers did not weave together to give the citizens a complete picture of the wrongs against the taxpayers, the housing fund, and the community support for affordable housing. It is a distressing tale of:
-falsified audit findings
-dishonesty
-likely election law violations
-phony cost studies
-corruption
-elected officials' purposeful misrepresentations
-abusive treatment of private citizens
-cover ups
-reckless squandering of tens of millions of taxpayer funds
-cronyism
-incompetence, and
-gross mismanagement.

Apparently, this was acceptable behavior to our current City Council, which has failed to denounce these unacceptable standards of governance. Burlingame is an embarrassing story for Aspen. Most citizens have no idea just how

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PLUCKING THE SILENT GOOSE Issue # 31

Updated on March 4 by Elizabeth

"The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to get the most feathers with the least hissing." Jean Baptist Colbert, attributed

Given the recent disclosures of Burlingame multi-million dollar mismanagement, millions in real estate speculation losses, a bloated City budget and the abuse of City employee p-cards and bonus plans, we've been getting a lot of questions from full-time locals and part-time residents alike on how to have a more effective voice in our local government.

PART TIME RESIDENTS Part-time residents, including seasonal residents and second homeowners are not well-represented in our local democracy. Particularly for second homeowners who pay the bulk of local property taxes, being continually tapped to fund local programs and projects is not so much the issue as not being able to participate in the process. They clearly are the lifeblood of most of the Valley's non-profits, as well as property tax-funded activities. Seasonal renters and workers are also making great financial and personal contributions to our lifestyle here. According to an economic white paper recently commissioned by the City, local residents only pay 10% of the sales taxes which go into the general fund. Second homeowners, part-time residents and visitors contribute 90%

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ISSUE # 30 ... CALEB KLEPPNER AND HIS KLEPTOMANIACAL MACHINE

Updated on March 5 by Elizabeth

"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts." -

Will Rogers

GUESS WHO'S COMING TO TOWN 

Caleb Kleppner (TrueBallot.com) is packing his bags and his little black box for a most-important business trip to Aspen. He may be the one guy in America who has the "counting machine" and ready ability to program it specifically for the Instant Run-Off Voting (IRV) vote count that will be implemented for our May 2009 election.

Remember, Aspen voters overwhelmingly supported a conversion to IRV in the November 2007 election when city officials claimed that IRV would save time and money by eliminating a separate run-off election should one candidate not get 50% plus one. They failed to disclose all of the confusing and practical difficulties with the untested system. The truth of the matter is that depending on which vote-counting method is selected (because the ballot language left this to the discretion of Council), the results can vary dramatically as demonstrated in last week's IRV open house at City Hall.

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